Anxiety Art/Body Check

Up and at 'em with a full day ahead - that monster list just keeps on giving and giving! Last night was Petterino's night with friends Bernie and Judy as well as new friend, Adrienne and a friend of hers, JoAnne. What a night it was! The cast from a new show in town, Sondheim's Assassins was there and regaled us with  a few numbers from the play. Now that's one freaky concept for a play! Haven't seen it yet but from what I understand, it's about famous assassins in history - the ones that come to my mind are Brutus, the Serbian who started WWI, John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan Sirahn - the dude who killed Bobby Kennedy, etc. Last night one of the songs was a duet between Squeaky Fromme and David Chapman. Squeaky sang to Charlie Manson, David to Jodie Foster. They sang about how they would die for love.  Strangely touching!

And guess who showed up to take in the show and sing us a song or two?? Marilyn Maye! (read yesterday's blog). What was really interesting to me was how she handled herself in an unfamiliar venue with an unfamiliar pianist (she typically travels with her own pianist/arranger). She got off to an unsteady start, picking a key out of the air (I was trained that you should ALWAYS know the key you sing every song in so that you can call it out to the pianist! - apparently when you have your own pianist this is unnecessary!), not liking the key she chose and getting into trouble because it was too low and she had to jump up an octave here and there, then just stopping the song altogether and singing something entirely different!  BUT, because she is so comfortable in her Cabaret skin, she made light work of it all and it ended up being charming. Lesson there - if you own the stage, have complete confidence in your ability to deliver, have the pipes and timing, you can pull off just about anything and what the audience will remember is your grace under fire, your composure and your talent. It's also what people expect when they see live impromptu music - it's fun to see things go wrong now and then, interesting to see a struggle between a singer and the pianist while they search musically for common ground, informative to see the subtle musical cues that signal how a song will end - almost imperceptible communication between the singer and the accompanist.  And it doesn't' hurt when your accompanist is the local legend Becky Menzie.  Singing with her is like driving a Ferrari. Oh, and I got to sing for Marilyn (and everyone else, of course). She complimented me on my performance!  Sang Them There Eyes.

Thinking more about what I wrote yesterday and not just as it applies to my dating life. These days I'm really getting the concept of truing up one's actions and behavior to align with one's hopes and dreams. And the thought that is giving me comfort and optimism is one that is incubating - I'll try to give it voice, to explain. But first, just spent some time on the NYT website and there was a touching and amusing article called Anxiety Art: This Mortal Coil. It's an art piece that depicts the anxiety and angst of being human. Here's what the artist has to say about his comic drawing:

This comic is from a series I’ve been working on since 1999, when my son was born, which has slowly been shaping itself into a book. My father died shortly before I myself became a dad, and both those events started me thinking about relationships and history and the responsibilities of parenthood. There’s all the baggage that one picks up from personal, family connections that you want to filter out for your kid. And then there’s the rest of the world — you want to be optimistic for the future, but if you’ve looked at history and are paying any attention at all to how things are going now, it’s a tough prospect. Really, about all I can do is stay alert and keep a sense of humor!

If you spend sometime with the comic (click on this link -  versus squinting at the picture above), thinking you will nod appreciatively and knowingly as I did.  "All the Ghosts of History, Tradition & Religion; our bodies and the needy organs that we worry about daily (we can't see them but they demand and complain!); finally the crap that rattles around in our heads - worry over sagging boobs or testicles, thinning hair, sore joints, and negative thoughts about how we're perceived.  Such a legacy!  If you were an alien you'd reach the conclusion that being of the human race sucks!!!

So this thought that gives me comfort - this budding practice of mine? It's simply this. Happiness comes from aligning your actions and behavior to your heart's desires. What this means to me is being present in the day, making sure that what I'm doing at any given moment is in synch with my core self and eschewing activities that create internal discord.  Simple, right?  It is. Hard, right? It can be.

Challenge today could be checking in with yourself several times today - a body check of sorts. When you're cruising the Internet you might ask yourself, "Is this what I should be doing right now?" Maybe the answer is yes, maybe no. When you open the frig and weigh your options for lunch you could ask yourself, "What choices support my heart's desire for beauty and health?" When you feel like lashing out at the stupid cashier at the gas station perhaps, "Is expressing my frustration in synch with my belief and need to treat people compassionately?" And, of course, we're not perfect but think about the benefit to ourselves if we could develop that kind of heightened awareness and walk our own walk, minute by minute, day by day.  There would be no need for anxiety art! At any given moment we would be exactly where we should be, doing exactly what we should be doing!

Peace,
Sarah