Busy day. Work. Showing one of the apartments (I have two apartments on the ground floor of my house and one is vacant),taking Robin my accountant out for a birthday lunch, then a kinda date tonight - one of those Internet meet-for-a-drink things. Gloomy few days, right with all the rain? Wait, slap me if I EVER complain about winter rain! A few degrees in temperature and winter rain is easily winter snow and I absolutely hate dealing with copious amounts of snow - firing up the snowblower, sweeping the decks, slipping and sliding in the icy alley, all yuck. Having said that, is there anything more beautiful than a sparkly sunny morning right after a snowfall, everything painted white and pristine?
Grumbling and confused about something. It was also a theme in my therapy - something to get my arms around at a time when it's easier to get your arms around me! Weight loss and becoming a small person has a downside especially when you're only 5' 2". Twice in the last two weeks, separate people have called me adorable. Another person called me "sweet little bunny". Another person told me, now that I've lost so much weight, they realize how short I am. It's something Kaveh and I talked about at length - the need for me to be BIG. God, it's like I'm a little disgruntled kid complaining, "I'm not a baby!"
I've lost 116 pounds - that's a whole person. 116 pounds ago, when I walked into a room, I was NOT to be ignored. I wore my weight with authority, unapologetically. These days I don't command that attention - I'm easy to ignore, sweet, little adorable bunny, me. If I really sit with that feeling of getting too small, I have to think it's why my weight has been stuck where it is. I still have a bunch to take off but I've been staring at the same spot on the scale for over a year now. Each time I take a run at further loss, I seem to sabotage myself. Could it be, it scares me to be adorable cuz adorable=little=invisible=powerless? I am still a "woman-hear-me-roar", lioness inside. How do I reconcile that with being precious? Hmmmm......
Subject change....percolating an idea for a new career. Nothing drastic - I'll still work the telecommunications gig like I have been but I have extra time these days with the kids out of the house, and my work not demanding much time. It's the right time to plan a change. Here are a few of the thoughts that are swirling:
- I truly AM living well....finally. There have been huge changes I've undertaken...the weight loss, completion of therapy, learning to cook and eat in the healthiest of ways, blossoming my creativity (the singing and writing), relinquishing my need to be the master of the universe (the control thing), making a difference in other peoples' lives, falling in love when I thought it would never happen to me, getting fitter, battling clutter and learning how to get things done, taking my place as a wise elder....all wonderful, right?
- What if there were a way to leverage all these gifts and accomplishments into a career - helping other people along the same path? What would that look like? A life coach? A nutritionist? A therapist? A GTD (Getting Things Done) facilitator? A creativity muse? A Landmark leader? A Weight Watchers leader? A motivational speaker? A columnist? Seems like there could be a bunch of ways to approach this.
- What skills and credential would I need to credibly sell my services and what would the venue be? Do I need to go back to college and become a therapist (an idea that appeals to me)? Should I do something really nontraditional like have a "spa" in my home where people could come and live for a spell (week or two) - I have the apartment! They would spend intensive time with me, attached at the hip, talking, figuring stuff out, making plans for change, learning to shop and cook, walks on the lakefront, and doing something creative like painting, writing or singing. It would be a way to kick start a new life. I would be the guide.
I'm going to work these ideas and come up with a plan. Your challenge is reaching out to me and letting me know what you REALLY think. Is this pie in the sky? Is there a need for this? Could it become a reality or is Sarah being naive? Thanks in advance for your feedback!