Swim I Must/Unstoppable Josh

Monday morning. This week I travel to Boston on Friday for a week with my mother and sister. Also going down to Plymouth (the town I grew up in) to visit dear friend, Rose for the weekend. Hard to be away from my life here for week (I feel the tug already) but it's needed, this trip.

Friday, as hoped for, a rocking good time at Schallers' - the staff and patrons are, I think, amazed when we descend on them en masse with singing that's good enough to be in a show. I enjoyed my new favorite drink, sparkling water with a splash of cranberry, glad to be there, among fun new friends. Christ accompanied me on three songs (guitar) and we sounded great together.

Saturday and Sunday were days to be endured. No plans for Saturday and I thought to hang out with James (Liza was en route to Baltimore for Henry's third appointment) but 'twas not to be. Hmmmm...what to say here. There was a flurry of texts between he, Liza and me as I tried to get the lowdown on whether James would be babysitting for her or whether he would be free to hang with me. She and I communicated - he felt like I was doing an end run around him and that made him crabby. I was just determined NOT to spend yet another Saturday night alone, sad, missing Patrick which is what happens when I have downtime.  Like a shark, I have to keep swimming, swimming, always swimming. Should I stop swimming, I'll sink to the bottom. So I get out almost every single night, schedule up most every minute. When, despite my best laid plans, I find myself at home alone, too often I sink right to the bottom. So, swim I must.

Anyway, I get that James might have been offput with my zeal to nail down my plans (his plans) but what happened next just punched me in the gut. A really offensive text from him - the kind of text written by someone who really doesn't like you very much, even though they do a good imitation of it. Not the kind of communication sent to someone whose feelings you care about. My response to his harshness?- well of course you already know my M.O. if you read this blog. I am, after all, The Queen of Hearts. "Off with his head - the peasant!" What I wrote, "You can't be serious. Have a good life." And that is where we are. Me wondering if I even want him in my life much with Liza mostly out of the picture. Not loving the idea of being a two musketeer. Questioning his place in my life. Time will tell - one thing that's constant in life - change.

Sunday, grrrrr... tickets to see a play at the Porchlight Theater - supposed to meet Carol there at 2pm for a matinee performance of A Class Act.  Only problem was that NO WHERE on the website for the Porchlight  Theater does it give the address of the theater in which they perform! All over their website is their corporate address which is way west on Diversey. Plugged that address into my Garmin, got there in due time only to determine, when I saw no cars, that they must have two addresses. Dug further, found a tiny reference to a Belmont address and got there 15 minutes late, hoping Carol would have figured out something was wrong and gone into the show (she doesn't have a cell - so couldn't communicate with her). Seething at this point, then apoplectic when they told me they wouldn't seat me because I was late. Murderous at that point. Went home and sulked. Then an evening with Josh at his new apartment - had a wonderful time - he helped me salvage the day.

And it's Josh I want to talk about today. Wow! He is an inspiration and I'm proud of my role in helping him get where he now finds himself - a place of optimism and hope with a solid foundation on which to build. It was just two months ago when his world fell apart, relationship going up in flames, business failing, ruin everywhere. His well meaning family counseled him to move in with them, live in the basement, go on public assistance if necessary, find a little job in the country where they live. Instead Josh grabbed the brass ring, pushed down his fears and just DID IT - made a new awesome life for himself despite the terror of it all. Friends, including me, gave him daily pep talks - he and I would compare notes at the beginning of the day as to when we would arise, what we would eat for breakfast, what out daily agenda would be. Then, at the end of the day, we would circle back and review the day, encouraging, making course corrections, boosting and patching each other up so that we could intrepidly face another day. Yesterday evening, we sat in his gorgeous apartment. We coffee klatched as he unpacked boxes. We talked about his fabulous new job and compared notes on our pathetic dating attempts, laughing, knowing we would figure that out too, eventually.

Your challenge today could be gaining inspiration from what Josh accomplished in such a small amount of time once he set his fears to the side and just dove in. He silenced the naysayers in his head, listened to the people who told him he had what it takes and then just did it. He went from hopeless hand wringing to being a person with an amazing future - all in two months. And success begets success. The first steps were the hardest for him - had to create some positive inertia. Now, the wind is at his back and he is absolutely unstoppable. I can't wait to see what's next for him. I'm very proud of him.

Peace,
Sarah