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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Habits with Tentacles/Lazy Dorothy

It's hard to write every day!   That implies I have something interesting to say each and every day!!! Some days (like today), it's a real stretch!  Today got off to a late start - allergies I think are slowing me down.  Got up and this whole "be out the door within 15 minutes of rising" has really taken root - it's just what I do now by rote.   Good when new habits grow tentacles and become firmly implanted. The reason that's important is the whole willpower thing.  If I had to will myself to do the morning lakefront routine every morning - if I weighed the pros and cons every morning, I would surely start to falter.  It's like when someone asks you, "What's 2+2?"   You don't have to process that right?   You answer the question from some instinctual place in your brain.  Same with good habits.  Once they become your new modality they require very little discipline.  And that leaves your will intact to take on something else.

Last night, drinks with a new suitor at the Orrington.  Blake, nice - I didn't hate him.   He is a family/child psychologist.  He likes edgy women - I'm edgy, right?  This Friday, a kinda date with a man I met at a party a few months ago.  Executive in the food industry (casinos) - handsome, engaging, a foodie like me and he plays jazz guitar as well.  I pursued him and invited him to hang with the posse this Friday so I'm not sure he knows it's a date :)  Maybe I won't hate him either.   Dorothy tells me to read my "10 Things I Hate About You Letter" that I sent Patrick at one point when he hurt me badly.  She tells me he wasn't all that wonderful - that had we stayed together the things I wrote about may have driven me crazy.   I tell her that despite his flaws (and yes there were a bunch), he was the man for me and that I choose to remember the good things.  I know I must get past him.....it's like childbirth.  There is no going back.   If he walked back into my life today, the relationship would be a poor one because the balance of power would be way out of whack.  I need to get over him to be recalibrated - to be capable of healthy love again.   Enough about him.  The killing frost is almost here.

I think Sarah has to get some work done today and not let my head linger in Patrick-land.   With that I will leave you with no challenge for the day, but DO take the time to read this horrific Little Girl Story that I wrote years ago.  You will shudder.  Sorry Dorothy, I didn't write this with you in mind!   You are anything BUT lazy!!


"Children, turn the TV off and come to bed, NOW!" yelled Mother. 

"Only if you'll tell us a Little Girl Story" bribed the children.

"Just a short one - what do you want to hear?" asked Mother in an exasperated voice.  The children had been especially bad that day and she wanted some time to herself.

"Tell us about Lazy Dorothy" the children hollered"

Dorothy was an only child and lived a solitary life with her mother and father in a big old house that was perched at the top of the highest hill in town.   Dorothy's mother and father were geniuses and university professors.   Dorothy was pretty sure that she was even smarter than they were.

She spent all her time at the computer and her parents bought her any game or software she asked for.    From morning to night, she hammered away at the keys doing God knows what on the computer.    Her parents tiptoed past her room, sure that she was probably going to find a cure for cancer or something equally important.  

Dorothy had no chores; she had convinced her parents that her studies on the computer were too important and that she shouldn't have to do menial work of any kind.

The only time Dorothy moved from the computer was to go to the bathroom or to sleep- she had dropped out of school long ago.   Dorothy's head grew larger, or so it seemed, and her bottom flattened from all the sitting.   Perhaps it was the rest of her body that had shrunk from not being used.    Her fingers were large and strong from all the typing - too large for the rest of her body.

Dorothy became so lazy that she asked for her meals to be brought to her room.  She was even thinking about having a toilet installed in her bedroom so she would not have to walk all the way to the end of the hall to go to the bathroom.

"Hmmm.   Today I think I'll play Dungeons and Dragons", said Dorothy as she booted up her PC.   She barely noticed that the room was almost dark despite the fact that it was almost noon.  

Her parents were already at the university having left the house quietly hours before, not wanting to wake Dorothy who liked to sleep until noon.

"Tom, there's a tornado warning and Dorothy is all alone at home.   What should we do? asked Dorothy's mother, worried. 

"You call her on the phone and I'll go right home" said Tom.

Dorothy's mom called and called but Dorothy couldn't be bothered to answer the phone.   It was in her parent's room and she was in the middle of a good game.   Dorothy did not notice the hail pelting the windows or the house shaking.

The phone rang and rang.

"Damn it!" said Dorothy.  "I wish whoever was calling would just leave me alone.   It's breaking my concentration - can't they see they're ruining my game?"

Tom almost made it to the house on time.   As he pulled into the driveway, he watched the top of the house break loose and sail away - Dorothy and all.

These days Dorothy lives in a nursing home even though she is only nine.    She took a nasty blow to her head when the tornado dropped her and now she is confined to a wheel chair.    She no longer has to feed herself, not because she's too lazy, but because she is unable to.

So, children, don't be lazy like Dorothy.    She never lifted a finger when she had the chance and now she can't even if she wants to - her fingers and the rest of her body don't work anymore.

The End.


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