Monday again and again and again. They just keep coming! I hope your weekend was good. Friday all my plans dissolved. We had a large group going to Schaller's - ten plus folks, new faces, good singers. It promised to be a great, fun night but then at the last minute a call from Bobby the pianist - his gig canceled because it was the White Sox opener and all the patrons would be focused on the game and annoyed by the distraction of music. Plan B - James came over and we hung out and played Scrabble and I was elated to beat him by over 200 points - my score 434!
Saturday Becky Menzie and Tom Michael's annual show at Davenports. Just as it was about to start, a phone call from the man who quickens my pulse. It was wonderful to catch up with him, no big crisis to discuss, no agenda other than a nice chat and dinner plans for my birthday. So the wisdom to moving on seems to be doing just that, moving on. But I'm not like most people - I'll do this my own way. He and I will do this our own way and the only guarantee is that life doesn't stay the same. There is an arc to this relationship that we are riding - it goes who knows where. That's the beauty and mystery of life. We can't just turn to the last page and peek at the ending. We have to just throw our hat into the ring, be bold, trust our instincts and live. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Yesterday was that "wince" day - our first date a year ago and what a year this has been! Then, Sunday, family dinner with the girls and Mark from downstairs to celebrate his birthday. Split pea soup simmered all day long with the ham bone left over from Easter, salad and lemon pepper ginger cake for dessert. I'm hard core back on WW so I watched my points really carefully and did great. Chose a small piece of cake over a glass of wine for the same points.
This morning on the elliptical I put on a genius vocal mix and waited for my "tarot card" reading which is really me just infusing connect-the-dot meaning into the random selection of songs that the IPod chooses for me. I know it's silly, but harmless right? I know there are no cosmic forces imparting messages to me in my morning workout, but hey, whatever it takes to find one's path! In a great mood, I waited for the message of the day. It wasn't until about minute 25 that "the" song was revealed to me. Santa Baby! (yeah, I know the IPod isn't holiday aware). Even though I was winded, I laughed and laughed at the lyrics - I'd never really listened closely before. So when Eartha Kitt croons, "Think of all the fun I've missed. Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed. Next year I could be oh so good, If you'd check off my Christmas list," I said, "yeah!" And then when she sang, "Come and trim my Christmas tree," I remembered the Santa piece I wrote years ago for the writing group. That's a story worth telling!
So, I was brand new to the creative writing group - this was the group prior to the current one that James, Liza and I chair. No one knew me, most of the members were much younger and hipper, and to them I must have seemed like a pleasant, unassuming middle aged woman - harmless. Amanda brought an unusual prop for a writing prompt - about ten essential oils that she passed around the table. Our assignment was to write what came to mind as we sniffed each of the different scents. I wrote things like citrus, balsam, cinnamon, Christmas, sushi, Florida, sex, lysol. Then we wrote a piece using some of those words. I was the last to read. The pieces before me were mostly sentimental with reminiscences about crunchy fall walks in the woods and the smell of burning leaves, sitting in Grandma's kitchen salivating over the smell of cooking raisin cinnamon bread, opening presents under a Christmas tree, sipping mulled cider. Blah, blah, blah.....as people read, each sappier than the one before. Then I read mine:
Santa for grownups. I want to sit on your lap and put my tongue in your ear. When I kiss your bow shaped mouth and nestle my face in your powdery white beard, I smell lemons and sweat - you've been working hard to make this day perfect for me. Fill my stocking with tickets to Florida, poker ships, frankincense and myrrh. Light my smoky Christmas fire!There was silence. Horrified? The sound of jaws dropping, I swear. And really the piece wasn't much - I've written much more compellingly since then and it's only suggestive - not X-rated. I think it was just unexpected. The set up - everyone lulled into sentimentality with the saccharin readings before me and then, the unexpected. Sex with Santa read by a woman who looked like she should be baking cookies. The moral of that story is be careful when you judge people! I love the idea of writing an unexpected back story for the people you observe as you go through your day. That fat waddling man wheezing his way across the street? He used to be a porn star!
So, Santa Baby and Sarah's Santa infatuation, how is that a message worth taking into the day!? Why was that "the song"? It felt so good to laugh this morning as I worked out. Life can be so serious - there are so many responsibilities and mandates in a single day. So much serious living to do that sometimes, I think we forget just how important it is to have fun, a LOT of fun, along the way. "Think of all the fun I've missed!" This has been a tough year for me, the broken heart and all the other stuff. Eartha Kitt would tell me to put my worries aside and get out there and make some mischief. The guy I really want to be with isn't available to me so I can either sit around and pine for his thick white hair, salt and pepper beard, soft bow-like lips, strong hands and large inviting body, or I can find me a substitute. That's the message of the song! Since I can't have him (he's holed up at the North Pole - ha ha gotcha! You thought I was describing Patrick!), I'll find someone else to "trim my Christmas tree"!
Your challenge today could be giving thought to whether or not you're having enough fun. If you're Robin, you have been working seven days a week since January with absolutely no fun. If you're Liza, you have given yourself over entirely to the welfare and needs of your children and can't even remember the last time you had an adult conversation (I never see her any more)! If you're Karen, you are working too hard and traveling constantly. If you're James, you've wrapped rules around your life that delay gratification until some unknown date in the future. Too many of my friends are running too fast and hard and not taking time to play. Not Sarah. April 15th is the start of a new tax year. It's the anniversary of a great lost love. It's also the day Sarah got her fun mojo back. Watch out! I can be trouble!