Water The Flowers, Not The Weeds

Good, Good Friday to you if it's something you observe.  Seems like everyone is abuzz with plans. Jewish friends are readying for Passover (Liza got tasked with making matzo balls and was going to use a mix but I convinced her to make them from scratch and I just happened to have a container of chicken fat in my freezer which I donated to her!  Gross I know, but until you've had matzo balls made with chicken fat, you haven't lived, and Sarah's are the best even though I'm a Wasp!), my Greek friend will have Greek Easter on the 15th, and this weekend he's celebrating Palm Sunday. Other Christian friends are gearing up for Easter this Sunday.   I was going to let the day go by without notice, but my kids insisted I cook.  So, putting the word out that there will be a feast on Sunday (honey baked ham, escalloped potatoes, flaming spinach salad, carrot cake and tiramisu for dessert.)  If you don't have plans, come.   I love entertaining and any excuse to cook and perfect my recipes.  Tiramisu is the latest challenge.  I'm working my way through a dozen different recipes and techniques - there is tiramisu religion out there!   Think for Sunday, I'm going to go with different layers and liquors for soaking the lady fingers.  One layer will be chocolate with rum soaked fingers, the next layer, traditional Marsala infused cream with Tia Maria soaked fingers and the third layer maybe citrus with limoncello soaked fingers.  I'll use Grand Marnier to flavor the cream.   I'm having fun with tiramisu!   Don't worry DJ, once I've perfected it, I'll make you a pan of it.  Maybe we'll do a tiramisu party and I'll present a bunch of versions we can vote on!  Tonight, drinks with Christ. No singing cuz of the holiday.  He and I have turned out to be music buddies.  Nice.

What I'm thinking about today is constancy of effort.  It's easy to become infused with excitement about new initiatives, easy to have big plans, hard to make those dreams come true.  I'm not alone, right?  The past several days were horrifying - I scared myself with the newfound addiction to the stupid cell phone games.  Even though I didn't want that for myself, I found myself craving time alone with the phone.   Earlier in the week, I talked with a new suitor and the whole time we spoke, I found myself wishing the conversation were over so I could play the games.  Seriously!  And he was nice! So, WTF!   3AM this morning found me playing hangman with several other night owls (or perhaps I was engaged with an Indonesian boy on the other side of the globe!)  This morning, I said, "enough is enough" and I erased the games from my phone.  Good riddance!

I expected Liza, the super achiever that she is, to tut-tut me for my weakness but was astonished to find that she too is addicted!   Her guilty pleasure - computer Boggle.  Her mother confesses to having played Tetris for 7-8 hours at a time, not even going to the bathroom or noticing that the sun went down.   I've seen robotic woman at casinos, faces blank, arms rhythmically pumping coins into slot machines.   I've read that people like that crave the repetition - it matters not whether they win or lose.  They are anesthetizing themselves.

Devil and angel.  Parent and child.  Mentor and student.  We are constantly all these things to ourselves, right?  This morning I had to brush the devil off my shoulder and parent myself and say, "No!"  Stephen Covey writes convincingly that we we need to seek out inspiration in the form of positive friends, enlightening books and movies, meditation, etc.   Highly effective people do not make a practice of sinking to the lowest common denominator.  If they are striving for knowledge, they don't spend time watching crap.  If they desire intimacy, they don't watch porn.  If it's a spiritual path they're on, they seek out others ahead of them on the same road.    I have big plans for the rest of my life - not going to get there farting around with cell phone games with anonymous people!

It comes down to this lovely quote from the Buddhist site I subscribe to (Tricycle: The Buddhist Review).

If you’re out watering your flower garden by hand, you naturally concentrate the flow of water to benefit your beautiful flowers. If there’s an area of weeds, you don’t waste water there. As best you can, you avoid watering the weeds. It’s the same with your consciousness. You can learn to selectively water the positive seeds and flowers in you by attending to them. There are enough weeds. You don’t have to encourage them.   - Thomas Bien, “Water the Flowers, Not the Weeds” 

Not much happy these days as you know, but I appreciate my life, even though I'm low.  I love what my friend Anna said when we took a walk on Sunday.  She said she gets through by staying present.  I really thought about that afterwards and she is absolutely right.  Finding the right balance between charting a course and staying on the path while taking it all in and savoring the day is being present at its best.  This weekend, I will be present with this Easter holiday, cooing over the decorated cupcakes at Whole Foods, taking a neighborhood walk and pilfering lilacs that hang onto public property for the dining room table, infusing the food I make with happy love for the people I adore, sitting at the table with wonder and awe and truly appreciating the day, the moment, the beauty and most of all my loved ones.  And laughing, laughing, laughing if (OK, when) we play dice later. Games played with people with shining eyes - not a screen that glows. Your challenge is the same.  This weekend, whatever your plans, fully inhabit the time spent with family and friends.  Be really present.

Peace,

Sarah

Picture is of my watering can collection (some of them)
NADGB