Thursday, September 27, 2012

Battle of the Sexes/Make Love After Midnight


Yikes, it seems like everyone in my sphere is testy today. When that kind of thing happens, I just can't take it personally - it's got to be chalked up to something astral - some planet crossing path thing. I'm thinking there is so much we don't know about ourselves and the influences that bombard us. Who knew that our bodies are bombarded and infiltrated by tiny neutrinos that pass through us? Not to mention the influence of light, barometric pressure, sound waves, gravitational pull, etc..

Today Shay and I - battle of the sexes. Have asked him repeatedly to put the toilet seat down - he can't seem to make it a regular habit. And today I was told it was an impossible request - that he cannot comply, that it makes him crazy. "Bullshit," I said. "If someone told you that in a month they would give you a brand new car if you could go for one month without slipping up, you would make it a priority to keep the seat down."  And it really IS a battle of the sexes that goes deeper than a toilet seat. Men, I think, have a need to imprint their masculinity on a home, assert themselves. I get it - it's primal.  And yet, this is NOT his castle, he doesn't get to be alpha here. This is a chick space, a goddess home. I think I surprised him when I said, "If Patrick lived here and told me, "Woman, this is going to be a toilet seat up house," I would acquiesce because he would be my lord and liege - he would call the shots. I was his Kate.  But, Shay, nah.....he is not my husband. Sitting here laughing that we're going rounds on this issue - it is so stupid, right? - with all the big stuff to worry about? I'll take a step back from this mini struggle in an effort to defuse. I've said what I need to say - it's a respect thing, it's a "know thy place" thing, it's a "who's the boss here" thing. It's a "it's my house" thing. Noblesse oblige.

The thing we can talk about today is two interesting articles I just read about sleep - one in the NYT and the other, New Scientist. The NYT article entitled, Rethinking Sleep raises interesting questions about the apparently modern notion that we all need eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. This idea was challenged in the early 1990's by a history professor who compiled references to sleeping found in literature (Canterbury Tales) the writings of 16th century doctors and more. Over and over again in literature and historical records there was mention of "firste sleep" and "second sleep". Doctors noted that laborers conceived more children if their pattern was to copulate after their first sleep. One doctor counseled that the period of time between first and second sleep was the best time for study and reflection. So what's this notion of first and second sleep that has been lost to us? Turns out if we remove all distractions including artificial light, the body falls into a segmented sleep pattern, with a waking time shortly after midnight.

And it seems to be an American thing to eschew sleep at any other time except night. Other countries embrace power naps, siestas, even enforced napping to improve productivity. The other article in New Scientist is entitled, Is 8 Hours a Night Right for Everyone?  The article informs that our sleep patterns are not individualistic - they are largely dictated by the needs of a capitalistic society. "Ever since industrialization, eight consolidated hours of sleep each night has been touted as optimal."  If your sleep requirements fall outside of this "norm" you are out of synch with modern society. The author argues for honoring differences in sleep patterns -work-time napping, later school start times for adolescents, etc.

Every day this week, I grabbed a very short mid-day nap to reboot my body. The shortest nap was about 10 minutes long. Arrived at my voice lesson 10 minutes early and found myself sleepy. In front of the house, I put the seat back, set an alarm and quickly fell into sleep for a delicious ten minutes.  I absolutely adore that I can will myself to sleep anywhere, anytime and that the act of falling asleep, even for a very few minutes resets me in such a way that I am energized for many more hours. I can't say enough good things about a quick power nap. It was the reason I could work that US Cellular project for 18 hours a day, month over month.

Challenge today is thinking about your individual sleep requirements and patterns. Do you experience anxiety if you're not getting the prescribed 8 hours? Do you fret when you wake in the night, thinking there is something wrong with you? Have you tried the after-lunch power nap? Thinking we can rewrite some of these post industrial sleep rules!

Peace,
Sarah

1 comment:

  1. As for sleeping like we were meant to, how about trying this for a long weekend:
    Don't turn on lights in the house.
    After dinner, sleep when it gets dark.
    See what your sleep rhythms are.
    Wake when the sun rises.
    See if after a few days that feels natural.

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