Happy April, Monday, Spring. Weekend, OK. Hope yours was good even if you didn't get twitterpated. I didn't either, but I did have a very bizarre dialogue going with this gent from OK Cupid (Internet dating site). He was erudite and eloquent, flirty and apparently fascinated with me, but something wasn't right and I couldn't put my finger on it. First thing was that he turned down my offer to talk and said, "In good time." That's weird, right? You're on those sites to meet people and talking is the next step before an actual meet. No one has ever turned down my offer to talk. But he did. Red flag. At first, I thought maybe he was married (still a possibility) and just having flirty electronic fun. Then, I thought he was a recluse, maybe never leaving the house and having only virtual relationships. I floated the possibility he was a paraplegic typing out his responses to me with a wand in his mouth. Next, it occurred to me he might be in prison! He found my hypotheses hilarious and dispelled each of them.
Over the course of about ten back and forth messages, I noticed something I might not have, had I not read the book, The Most Human Human. I noticed he never started a conversational thread - that his conversation was "stateless" which is a term used to describe conversation that is based solely on the previous query - computers only "speak" in a stateless way. At one point, I was pretty convinced he was a chatbot. Then last night, an out of the blue message from him saying, that very day, he had met someone and decided to pursue a relationship with her - that he hoped I understood, blah, blah, blah. I considered being nice and wishing him well but I was pissed to be led down a primrose path and by now y'all know I'm not really that nice much of the time, especially when someone hurts me. So I told him I was cross and felt led on - that I wish he had just left me alone. I also told him not to bother contacting me if his relationship didn't work out. Ah...the joys of Internet dating!
Yesterday, a lazy afternoon with friend Anna who used to work for me. We lunched, walked 10,000 steps on the lakefront and then back to my place to hang out with Elizabeth, friend and tenants - ordered food in. We also sat around and split our attention between the game "Words With Friends" on our cell phones and being "live" with each other. So how weird is it to be playing Scrabble on your cell phone with the person who is sitting right across from you? And what's even more ironic - right there on the coffee table was the "flesh and blood" Scrabble game! Life is getting strange - electronics are making us weird! I'm totally hooked on playing Scrabble with my cell and I was as guilty as the rest of the gang in zoning out with my cell while I was surrounded by friends. I don't think we should be OK with this! Thinking I might institute a no cell policy in my house - a little basket by the door where people are required to check their devices. Maybe I'll let them check for emergencies every hour or so, but that's it. Sarah=Electronic Enforcer!!
Today at the office, working on my resume. Friend Steve is an international contractor working for American companies who are brought into foreign countries to solve big problems: build the Internet in Mongolia, implement a new legislative software application for the fledgling Iraqi government, build a securites compliance system in Thailand, etc. Big important projects with lots of politics and sensitive cultural considerations. Steve is the kind of guy who gets the job done despite all the obstacles thrown at him - he does it in a way that is respectful of the culture of the country he finds himself. Invariably he ends up with a posse of new friends everywhere he goes. He is effective and humble. And, he thinks I should throw my hat into the international project management arena. I have the credibility and much of the credentials needed and I, like him, am results oriented with good people skills. Friends I've mentioned this to worry about me going into dangerous arenas. I remind them my cats were responsible for my brain being rewired (see the post "Is Your Cat Making You Crazy) so I am mostly fearless and bold. I would go most anywhere regardless of the danger. We'll see!
This morning I woke up and had the thought, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if we always, with no effort, did the right thing?" Think of it! What if we actually embraced and accomplished everything that needed our attention? What if we never had to tell ourselves "no" or prod ourselves to be productive? Are there people like that? People who meet the agenda of each day with no resistance or anxiety, who always find themselves in exactly the right spot, doing what's required, happy to be doing what's required, content with it all? I am SOOO not that person. And if you're like me, you start every day with a list that you know you should do, procrastinate much of it, half-heartedly accomplish some of it, wish you were doing something else, goof off much of the time, then go to bed feeling guilty. Sucks!!! This is no way to live!!! As one of the new 37 songs I'm learning says, "Something's Gotta Give!"
Oh, and about those new songs, I blew my voice coach, Mark, away that I was able to memorize 37 songs within a 24 hour period, in about 5-6 hours. He was skeptical and tested me. I continue to reinforce what I've memorized and am now working on memorizing all the subtleties of the melodies. This memorization thing is a godsend to me these days. I'm working on reprogramming my mind, purging certain thoughts, remapping synapses, cutting connections. By filling my mind with an overload of lyrics and melodies I am crowding out unwanted thoughts. It's good!
All for today. Challenge today is to think about whether you are swimming upstream every day or whether you are smack dab where you should be. I'm thinking that, if life is a daily struggle to do the right thing against your will and desire to be doing something else, maybe we should evaluate our choices. Maybe what has served us well in the past now shackles us - what used to excite and energize us, now has an enervating effect. I'm thinking there are people who, when they touch down on their pillow each night, do so with satisfaction and contentment and they look forward to the challenges and opportunities of the next day. I want to be one of those people again.
Peace,
Sarah
NADGB
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