Monday, got so much to do - that whole list thing is becoming an obsession- is it possible that one morning I will go to write the list and everything will have been done? Nah. Weekend was a mixed bag but mostly good cuz I declared "it will be good!" Friday singing at Schaller's with Judy and Carmen and a friend of theirs. Dreamy doctor Mike showed up with his on again/off again non-exclusive girlfriend and we were cool to each other. So much for ex-lovers being friends, it seems! Saturday, lots of errands, great voice lesson and then the evening saw me alone at home playing 30 simultaneous games of Scrabble with random opponents on my IPad. Liza and James came over later for a drink (they drank, I didn't - don't much these days). Sunday found me at 12 West Elm with Pam and friends singing really great. Seems I have some hard core fans there! And one of the seven eligible gents from OKCupid came out to see me sing and check me out. One of three Dans (how the heck am I ever going to keep them straight!) - from the Western suburbs. Nice guy, but he's not "he who shall not be named." Don't know how anyone else will ever measure up - footsteps that went before are just too darn big to fill. Oh, and four pounds down, for a loss, since I've been back to WW, of sixteen pounds.
Getting off to a slow start today with a long phone call from Liza - an important call, and then Mark, tenant, back from a Texan vacation - had to klatch with him. And all the time, I'm thinking, "my list, my list - it's beckoning me." These days I'd rather spend time with my lists, getting stuff done, crossing items off than spending idle chit chat time. So if you call me and I cut you to the chase, don't be offended - it's just my list calling. Reminds me of a time on vacation with friend Rose - Outer Banks of North Carolina - Kittyhawk, right near where the Wright Brothers took their famous first flight. That vacation should have been about time on the beach, soaking up nature, great conversation. Instead, I read a 700+ plus book on the geekiest of topics, The Federal Reserve Bank. The book, entitled, Secrets of the Temple was a fascinating read and for me an Economics major and a former investment banker, it was like candy. Every now and then I'd do the polite conversation thing, but the whole time, I was thinking, "How can I wrap this up so I can get back to my book?" Loved that book so much that I threw down a challenge to my daughter and her college entering friends that summer. I bought the book for any of them who wanted it and told them I'd pay them $50 if they read it. They all said they were "in" but only one very smart kid actually completed the challenge and got the $50.
Thoughts these days is about happiness. I'm pretty sure our happiness activities fall into three categories:
- the obvious, straightforward happy activities like a great conversation with your kid, meeting someone new and making a connection, entertaining friends, a good workout.
- activities that give us instant gratification that actually undermine and sabotage our true happiness. Examples are getting shitfaced, overeating or eating foods that are delicious but that compromise our health, sex with someone you don't love, goofing off and convincing yourself you're having fun while feeling guilty, mindless activities that numb us that make us relaxed and "happy."
- activities you hate but that contribute to your happiness bottom line. Most self care falls into this category. Who thinks flossing, exercising, dieting, chores, completing things you've procrastinated are fun? And yet, this unfun stuff is foundational for happiness.
So three types of happiness activities.The first one is easy, the things that are fun and good for us. The last two are the tricky ones and need focus each and every day. Not doing the instant gratification things and DOING the yucky stuff that's good for us. And then, because we're not Puritans after all, every now and then breaking your own rules and saying, What the Hell!" Can't live with intractable rules. It's that whole "All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy."
Sorry if I'm pontificating lately. It's summer which is a naturally fun time of year - time to kick up our heels and throw some caution to the wind. So, here's dour Sarah over here telling you to buckle down and get shit done - right when the moon is full, the spirits are flowing, fun is in the air. Responsibility=who cares. I get it. I'll stop beating that drum, even if my own life these days is grim determination and too much time alone with my thoughts which are all about how to get from Point A to Point Z.
Challenge today is giving some thought to where that balance lies. If you're me, your days are learning to live artfully alone with a focus on strengthening infrastructure - to the exclusion of hilarious, heel kicking fun. That's probably not a very joyful way of being, even if it's long term happiness producing. If you're my polar opposite, you are abrogating your long-term goals in favor of instant fun, maybe partying too much, not living into your life challenges, not making forward progress. Making hay while the summer sunshine shines while I collect nuts for the winter. Are either of us OK? And then there are those of you in the middle - responsible but carefree. Balanced. Thinking 'twould be very nice to be one of you! Gotta go, my list beckons!
Peace,
Sarah
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