Wednesday and tonight is the writing group - I'm leading the prompts. And since everything I do is coming under scrutiny (keep or throw), this morning I gave thought to whether the writing group is something to keep - is it old? Does it still fulfill its mission of incubating creativity? Answer is yes - it continues to delight and the stuff that bubbles up in that back room at Panera is often pure genius and inspiration. Sometimes we frigging amaze ourselves - sometimes the writing is jaw-droppingly good. There is a LOT of talent there, and fun. Hoping to write well tonight - if so I'll share with you tomorrow. Feeling dark these days so it may be a good outlet for those sinister feelings - you can probably count on something love lost with dead babies sprinkled in for good measure. One of the prompts I'm throwing down tonight is titles of nursery rhymes, i.e. Jack and Jill went up the hill (to the still?) or Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep (they escaped the abattoir?), Wee Willie Winkie (I've been with a few men with wee willie winkies)! I Love Little Pussy (OK, even you know what could be done with that one!)
The good thing about having a really bad day is that you get to wake up and start all over - like rebooting a computer. Yesterday was a self indulgent, pitiful day. Only bright spot, Carla came and picked me up in her miniature red car with the roof down. We tooled around Evanston checking out caterers for a benefit party she's throwing. Fun to be with her - she is so dynamic and forward moving. No self pity that one even though there is sorrow in her life. The evening found me alone and feeling sorry for myself, eating carbs and watching mindless television on the computer. Haven't watched TV in years and there are shows I used to like - The Office for one. Did you know Pam and Jim got married? I know you're laughing cuz I'm sooooo out of the popular culture. Anyway, the whole TV thing - not good for me - it's that whole LCD (lowest common denominator) thing I talked about yesterday. If I had any doubts, wallowing in it last night confirmed it is NOT my path.
Today I want to talk about something I continue to be worried about - and I know I've harped on this, but the issue is not going anywhere - in fact it's getting worse. When I was at the 11 Divas show the other night, Alan and I noticed with amazement, as the lights were dimmed, how many people were on their cell phones. We had a bird's eye view of the entire auditorium and there were no less than 100 phones lit up. Granted, some folks might have been turning them to off or silent, but I don't think that was the majority. This is a phenomenon and not a good one, in my opinion. There have been evenings when James, Liza and I will sit in my living room and for a period of time, we will be engrossed in our respective phones, maybe playing a game of Scrabble, maybe reading e-mails, texting, whatever. When I'm with Victor, he is always on the pulse of his phone - Pavlovian really, and when I'm on the phone with him, he is on his computer - I am no more than background "music".
Thinking our brains are being tampered with. It's really alarming when you step back and assess what's going on. How many people do you know who aren't glued to the ringing, chiming, chirping of their phones? We all are! How did this happen and should we do something about it? And I'm not saying we should be Luddites and eschew the technology completely. I love the convenience of having a phone I can Google an address on if I'm lost, or texting someone when I've arrived at their house. My friend Carol doesn't have a cell phone. It's a pain in the neck not having easy access to her and yet, wow, I admire her decision so much. I'm thinking she doesn't feel any loss in not being tethered to a device. So, as we viewed the hundreds of lit screens at the concert, Alan and I marveled at it - we could have been among that group if we chose, but instead, we did something really novel - we talked. We agreed that, just because the technology exists, doesn't mean we have to use it or let it rule our lives. And if that phrase seems strong, "rule our lives" - it's really the truth. If you are a person who drops everything when the phone makes a peep, stops a thought mid sentence to answer a text, sneaks a peak at e-mail when there is a lull in conversation, then you are letting your life be ruled by the technology.
What do you think of the idea of laying down some rules as to the appropriate use of this technology? - Cell Phone Do's and Dont's to Live By? Something Emily Post would approve of if she were alive. If this were more of an interactive forum, I'd ask you to submit your ideas (very few people add comments to my postings), but in the absence of that, I'll take a stab at it. Here goes:
- If you're out and with friends or family, let phone calls go to voice mail unless you are expecting an urgent call. Return the calls later when you're alone.
- Only use texting for administrative types of communication like, "I'm here", or "On my way". Again, if you're with someone, don't glance at your texts as they come in. You are not a Pavlovian dog - you won't be electrically shocked if you don't jump to the command of the tone.
- Don't use your cell phone for any purpose other than phone calls or administrative texts. Exception is occasionally checking your e-mail, operative word being "occasionally" - maybe once in an evening. Another exception could be using the Internet feature to check an address or store hours when you're out and about.
- When you have guests over, ask them to leave their cell phones on the front hall table, have them check their devices just as cowboys used to check their guns at the saloon door. If your guests need to check on a kid or a business deal, they can excuse themselves periodically to check their phone. I'm going to put a sign on my front door that says something like, "Leave Your Cell Phone on the Front Hall Table."
What do you think? Is this draconian? Sure is a departure from the trend, right? But think of your relationship with your smart phone - can you honestly say it's healthy and appropriate? My guess is that you, like most people, originally became enamored of the technology (it's really cool) and what was, at first, wonder and awe has turned into slavish dependence - losing a piece of your mind to the device. It has become a demanding and dysfunctional lover of sorts. If you think I'm wrong, then prove it! Try for one week (or even just one day) to institute the cell phone guidelines above and see if you don't experience anxiety, as if you're withdrawing from a controlled substance! I'm thinking you will be at loose ends, irritable, cursing Sarah, saying "this is stupid", feeling like you've lost a friend, not able to follow through and by the end of the day, your cell phone will be purring away right by your side, reunited again. But you will know I'm right - that something is really fucked up, that you have become dependent on an inanimate lover. And you will justify your addiction when you look around and see you are in good company - if everyone has a tiny electronic lover, why shouldn't you too? It's only fair!
Then there are people like Carol who do a better job at guarding her portal - just because something is a trend, doesn't mean it passes muster with her. Unlike most of us, she actually thinks for herself. If it's the norm to buy a new car every five years, Carol says, "Why?" and nurses hers along for 20 years, not caring a fig what anything thinks of her. Despite her comfortable income, she buys her clothing at resale shops and decorates her house from yard sales. And yet, she'll spend a lot of money on the best theater tickets and pick up the tab for ten acquaintances at dinner. Love that about her! She cleaves to her own values of value and isn't a lemming. (actually that's a bad comparison cuz I learned that lemmings really don't walk en masse into the sea - they're not that stupid.) How's this instead? She's not a sheep like the rest of us.
Sheep.That's what we are when it comes to technology and other marketing initiatives. Someone, somewhere, somehow dictated a need - something like huge amounts of corn in our diets, or daily lattes (did you even know what a latte was until 20 years ago?) or smart phones, and we just rolled over and fell in line - marched to the drumbeat. Free will down the drain.
Challenge today is accepting Sarah's challenge to become technology militant - be an awake consumer of the stuff - make your own Do's and Don't list based on your own needs, the person you want to be (or not be) and then walk the walk. And take it a step further and demand from your friends good cell phone manners when you're with them - unless we call people out on how rude and fucked up it is to be glued to devices when they're sitting across from us, people will continue to be thoughtless, mindless rude consumers of a technology that didn't even exist until a few years ago. Sheep=Us, I fear.
Peace,
Sarah
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