Sunday night - just got in from singing at 12 West Elm. Was blue tonight - kept to myself even when this fellow came over and asked to sit with me. "No," I said, "I'm feeling antisocial." I sent him on his way. Needing to write this tonight because of a monster day tomorrow - lots on the list, Victor coming to help me with my Getting Things Done technology infrastructure and other things.
This is what's good: just finished the first full week of no wheat and no dairy and I'm starting to feel incredible. Seems inflammation in my joints is better, I rarely need to eat without the carb blood sugar swings - sometimes I have to remind myself it's meal time. I'm starting to create a rhythm and repertoire to this new way of eating that will, in time, be natural and second nature. AND GOOD NEWS! My sister was inspired by my resolve and she is going to go on this adventure with me. We've decided to document everything with the thought that, at the end of the year, we will have a book to publish. Much of it will be recipes and clever dinner and snack ideas - the challenge - "What the heck can I eat!" once you take away the usual suspects. This morning Mark and I did our own version of the Cook's Test Kitchen - we played around with a microwave recipe for flax wraps - made simply with ground flaxseed, coconut oil, egg, water and seasonings. Cooked in a glass pie plate in the microwave the recipe makes one perfect and delicious wrap into which I wrapped organic turkey, avocade, miso dressing, shaved onion and bean sprouts. Mark scarfed it - loved it.
Date with Kirk last night was a different kind of adventure. Oh, did I forget to mention that his name is not Luke, but really Kirk? He came for dinner - we had martinis (I never had my Federal Holiday Thanksgiving one so I felt it was OK) talked about my upcoming Burt Bacharach show, listened to tunes that might make the cut and had wonderful lively conversation. Dinner was amazing - he didn't even miss the dairy and wheat. So what do I think? Ambivalence - so much I like but a ton of red flags. Thinking I wouldn't have been so blue tonight if the red flags weren't winning the day. And really what's the point in thinking I might be able to love again?........look closely and there's just a big old hole where my heart used to be.
So excited - I just firmed the dates for my show at Davenport's. I know it seems far out in the future - September 8th and 15th, but really it will be here before you know it. So, here's the deal. I need you to come to both of them and really commit in a firm way (friends have a way of vanishing when it comes to social obligations - we're living in a strange non-committal time). I'm terrified that I'll do all this work and be singing to eight people in the audience. The place holds about 70 and it takes 40-50 to make it look full. So, if you are my friend, and you love me you will put these two Sundays on your calendar with a big black Sharpie marker and you will clear your calendar of possible conflicts. Tell your newly betrothed daughter NOT TO have her wedding those two weekends. Don't schedule your bunion surgery during that time or the weeks leading up to it! If you start a new job tell your boss that you'll accept the offer as long as you don't have to travel those two Sunday! No Caribbean cruises or cross Asia/Europe trips on the Orient Express! And if you are out of town, please consider a trip to Chicago for one of the weekends. I need your support (that's you! - not the other guys reading this blog post!). And if you are a mystery reader - reveal yourself and communicate with me!
All for today - challenge continues to be getting your arms around this whole month of December thing we do every year. Talked with my sister this morning and we both agreed it's a really difficult time of year. We think all the festivities are really just a way to distract ourselves from the hugely depressing fact that it's so damned dark. The darkness that descends so early each day as we approach the winter solstice is numbing. Maybe make a list of what it is that cheers you at this somber time of year. Thinking you might be surprised that the things that hearten aren't necessarily self-destructive. My short list is:
- Christmas music
- Sweet time with family and friends
- The smell of firs
- Likewise, the smell of cinnamon
- Clementines
- A Christmas tree
- Time Off
That's it! All the other stuff - eggnog, wild parties, presents, shopping, holiday cooking - didn't make the short list. What's your short list??
Peace (on earth and goodwill to men!),
Sarah
The dates for Davenport's are on the calendar. It's not written in Sharpie though because I keep my calendar on my computer. A Sharpie would ruin my computer screen. :-) See you on Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteYes! No Sharpie on your computer screen!!! Looking forward to klatching - will give you more detail on the date. Readers, have you noticed how appropriate I've become in the last six months or so? Getting the hang of what is OK to divulge and what is TMI.
ReplyDeleteSarah