And

Monday again...and brrr the temperature dropped in the last 24 hours. On days like this glad to work at home in my beautiful cozy home in my gorgeous office. Wearing cashmere today - the day is always better with cashmere. Weekend was fine despite the fact that my brain is in a loop over Mark's death. It's like it's a detective obsessed with revisiting the scene of a crime over and over again, thinking this time he'll see something he didn't see before. Mark's wrapped Christmas present (never delivered to him in the hospital) in the backseat of my car mocked me each time I ran an errand. Felt better when I unwrapped it and put it away. Rest of the weekend was spent being drippy with the cold that's going around. Friday stayed in. Saturday friend Maggie and I went to Katerina's to see an amazing gypsy band and yesterday friend Janet had her one woman cabaret show at Davenport's (where I will have my show in the fall). A bunch of us turned out to support her.

Thursday I start a new Landmark weekly seminar that will run for ten weeks - something about being in the zone. I'm glad to be doing the work...it's too easy to get complacent. And who doesn't want to be in the zone? What a great way to start a new year! And speaking of Landmark, I've thought for a while to revisit an exercise we did. It's fun and useful - do it with me.

Stop reading for a moment and put pen to paper. Write a sentence with the word "but" in it. Make it a sentence that's meaningful to you - maybe something you wish for but haven't been able to achieve for some reason, like "I really want a mink coat but it's too expensive."  Or maybe something less superficial like, "I need to find a new job but the job market stinks." When we did this exercise, my sentence was, "I need to exercise more but my knees hurt."

So write your sentence now.

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Now, pluck the word "but" out of the sentence and insert the word "and".  It's a whole different sentence now, right? My sentence turned into, "I need to exercise more and my knees hurt. If your sentence was something like, "I need to have a better relationship with my mother-in-law but we make each other crazy," now it's I need to have a better relationship with my mother-in-law and we make each other crazy.

In the first sentence I was stating a problem and making an excuse why that problem would perpetuate. When I changed the sentence I stated the problem and I identified an obstacle that needed to be overcome. So now, I need to exercise more and my knees hurt opens the door for me to figure out how to exercise with knees that hurt. Maybe I just suck it up and exercise despite the pain or maybe I figure out a way to exercise that doesn't cause me knee pain. Not sure what the solution is but you can see, the first sentence did not call for a solution - the second sentence is a stepping stone to a solution. Problem stated, obstacle stated, then thinking cap.

Challenge today if you're inspired could be writing  several "but" sentences" and then plucking the "but" and inserting the "and".  I'd start with those things that are perpetual complaints in your life. "I need to give up drinking but my life is too stressful now to take that on." "I need to lose weight but every time I diet I end up failing." "I need give up smoking but I'm addicted." "I need to leave my wife but I'm afraid I'll lose everything." "I need to declutter my life but my time is so short." "I need therapy but I can't afford it."

Peace,
Sarah

Picture is promotional for Janet's show yesterday.