Today is a confusing day. Didn't go to the office which I guess is noblesse oblige when you're the boss, but it's still fraught with guilty feelings. Madeleine still sick. Tending her. And a messy house and a gentleman caller coming for dinner so that had to be dealt with. Dinner, a wonderful chicken curry served atop jasmine rice and garnished with tropical things: coconut, bananas, raisins and mango chutney. I will make it for you sometime if you visit me.
The gentleman caller - Ed. One in a long list of suitors thanks to an active presence on an Internet dating site. I start to forget their names. This is date #2, the first his treat at a Japanese restaurant. When I left I thought I'd never hear from him again. His body language was guarded (arms crossed across his chest) and he wasn't that forthcoming. I, on the other hand, glittered and pirouetted my way through the evening, looking for a "way in". Breakthrough was in thinking about the date and my usual thought pattern which goes something like this. "Maybe I was too this or too that, and I shouldn't have...., or perhaps I should have said...if only i were more this or less that." Then I stopped myself cold. I was fine, absolutely fine. If he didn't like me, it was not a reflection on me. Someday there will be a person who is enchanted with me exactly as I am. And with that, I put Ed on a shelf - so imagine my surprise when he reached out to me again.
And here's the thing. I was so busy wondering if he liked me that I forgot to evaluate whether or not I liked him! People ask me why I married my first husband and I tell them, "because he liked me!" There's something potentially curiously amiss with Ed. He is a motivational speaker, travels across the country talking about humor and tragedy and sex (used to be a sex therapist). He is an expert on humor in relationships. After 911, NPR put him on the radio to ask the question on everyone's mind, "When will it be OK to laugh again?" He's that guy - the laugh expert and his monikor on the dating site is even. Dr. Laugh. Now here's the rub - he's not funny, warm, open or forthcoming. I find him buttoned up which would be OK, except for the fact that he's the person you go to, to laugh! Maybe date #2 will be funnier.
Today, short post. I have a lot on my mind. Topics to talk about that are brewing in my brain are "novelty", "friendship under fire", "work and love, the cornerstones of happiness", and more.
Challenge today is to think about whether you walk the walk. Someone said that maybe it's easier for Ed to dispense advice about humor and relationships versus living his own advice and being in a humor-filled relationship (he's never been married). Is there something like that you should examine? Are you a nutritionist whose kitchen cabinets are filled with Ho-Ho's, or a disorganized organizational specialist? Or a teacher with no children of your own who really hates the little bastards? You get the idea. Let's not be frauds.
Peace,
Sarah
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